An Uphill Battle

    I had a great start to my weekend! After attending the very well-organized and informative social media workshop, and a nap break, I headed to The INN for the PRSSA Alumni Dinner. Upon arriving I was shocked to see my parents sitting at my table. When I asked them what they were doing there they just told me that they were invited by Dr. Aggie. Little did I know there was a much bigger reason for them being there. We talked and ate dinner and eventually, it was time for awards. The first award being given was the Outstanding New Member Award. As the description of this award was being read I realized that it sounded a lot like me. I then began to look around and saw that I was one of the few whose parents were invited. Then it dawned on me. Maybe I was the one receiving the award. Just as this went through my head I heard my name get announced. I was so excited to receive the award especially since I wasn't expecting any of it. Once the dinner was concluded I got pictures, celebrated with friends and just had an overall great night. I couldn't have thought of a better start to my weekend.
    Then my world got flipped upside down. Saturday, I woke up around 10:30 a.m. giving me an hour before I had to be at work for my eight-hour shift. About two hours into my shift I got a call from my mom. She informed me that my Papa had a brain bleed and was back in the hospital. According to the doctors, there wasn't much they could do given the state he was in, and they believed he only had a couple days left. I talked to my boss and coworkers and was able to leave work right away to meet my family at Toledo Hospital about an hour away. I called off work Sunday and stayed the night at home. He was still with us come Sunday evening, so I said my whole goodbye to him as I didn't know if that would be the last time I would see him. I would have loved to skip Monday's classes to have more time with my Papa, but unfortunately, I can only miss so many days for some of my classes otherwise I'll automatically fail. So I went to my classes and worked my shift since I was already back in town, then headed back home. While I was in classes my brother texted me that they had moved him into hospice care at a different hospital called Flower Hospital, so I drove straight there after work. I was relieved to see him when I made it to the hospital at around 8:30 p.m. At this point, my Papa had been taken off most of his medication other than morphine and any other medication that was just keeping him comfortable for the time he had left. I spent that evening with him and my grandma, mom, and uncle. By 3:20 a.m. Tuesday morning, he was gone.


    This had been a six-month battle starting back in October when we found out that my Papa had a tumor on his brain stem. The tumor wasn't cancerous, but it was causing there to be excess brain fluid in his head. It seemed like the best option would be to just remove the tumor, but due to it being on his brain stem, it was inoperable. This meant he needed brain surgery to put a shunt in the back of his head to allow the brain fluid to drain. The first surgery went well but the shunt was faulty so they needed to do surgery to remove it and try again. The next surgery went well but that time the shunt infected his brain fluid, so they needed to, again, do surgery to remove it and try again. Finally, the last surgery went well and the shunt was working, but we then found out that the tumor on his brain stem was growing, meaning that regardless of whether the shunt worked, he wasn't going to make it. Since the shunt was a success though, he was supposed to have more time. Then the random brain bleed, that doctors couldn't explain, took that time away.
    I knew this was coming eventually, I just didn't think it would be so soon. I thought that after the death of a family friend, the death of my great-grandma, my uncle having a seizure, two family members being diagnosed with cancer and having to put my dog down all in one school year maybe the universe would give me a break, but I guess not. I've learned that life doesn't play fair and it doesn't care about your feelings. It will knock you to your knees and hit you while you're down, and it will leave you there permanently if you let it. It is completely what you make of it. So surround yourself with the people and things that make life worth living, otherwise, it won't feel like it's worth it.

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